What do you call a man with two red legs?

Fucking Stupid! That's what. Legs soooo sunburned... So After a week of interesting highs and lows. Met a different girl whom seems pretty cool as well. Actually, has my same sleep schedule. I'll leave that there for now because honestly, I have no idea if anything will ever come from that fantastic night. I learned that if you put chocolate chips in mountain dew they have a lava lamp thing happen. Also that if you go Kayaking for 5 hours sun screen isn't a good idea, its a pre-essential. I am going to have the weirdest tan line ever. We're talking farmers tan time 10. Really awkward. If I do manage to get laid in the near future you can bet your fanny there will be questions about why the insides of my legs are bright red. Also hot showers are evil. This week my Bike article and my Funny Girl article both are a go in the paper. I'm pretty stoked. I'll be judging comedy again and with any luck that girl will be back.

In other news related more to the art side of my life I have actually gotten quite a few commissions. Like the one you see above here. I'm also in the process of finishing the coloring for a piece I drew for Mary Doodles. The Fact that I met David Mack still is blowing my mind. Seriously, 1 degree of separation from Neil Gaiman Now. I couldn't be any more excited. He has a similar strategy to approaching art as I do which I will be writing about for TNTML soon. Oh speaking of that site my interview with Anna about the porchlight sessions went live last week. It was a really well done interview and I was excited to have gotten it to print before her project ended. There was a little mix up when Jen went to a wine house in the middle of no where for 3 days. That kinda complicated my timing but all is well in the end.   Anyway, Look forward to more art... a series of poems dedicated to family members, and more writing. I'm on a roll. Woot!

Life is...

Ok! So I haven't had the chance to update this thing in something like forever. Best I can say is a lot of stuff has happened sense last time. Found myself interested in a new girl. She's cool more on that later if anything pans out there. I fasted for 10 days No food, drink or smoking. In other news I've quit smoking. So far that was the easiest time I've ever had in quitting so hopefully it sticks. I enjoy not smelling like smoke, being able to smell, and not spending 20 bucks a week on cigarettes. Speaking of cuts in savings. I went and got myself a bike. While it was a very expensive bike I have no doubt that it will pay for it's self via me not having to pay 4 bucks a gallon on Gas. Also writing a series of articles on starting a bike life.

LA was a blast I helped in the making of a Music video got to see damn near all my friends, made some new friends and contacts. Life just keeps getting better. As I tell all my friends I seem to be lucky in all things but love. So if 95 percent of you life is doing awesome I can wait for that heart warming girl to make her entrance. For now I'm going to keep concentrating on getting myself in better and better shape, and all round healthier lifestyle. Next time I will probably utilize the bus system more. Not only did I spend 1/8th of the time I was there walking around. It was actually really nice weather for walking. But man were my dogs killing me. Still on LA that's where that piece of art up there came from. We had a cosplay model stand in and I got to hang out with David Mack and Satine Phoenix. Life was complete. Well till next time. I'll see you all in the real world.

Not allowed to hit on my friends

Ok so this caught me off guard a little last night. I was out first to go see my friends band which was awesome by the way. Check out FAKE NATIVES!I'd like to say the show was awesome but we couldn't get in it was in so many words sold out. Hell I'll see them at the The Dead Bird House later anyway. Many angry stares to the group of 20 some people upstairs, not drinking, not enjoying the show. Y'all can get sick and die. So Cherry (my best friend and X) Went to DrinkX a shady bar that has some kinda weird pole in it for um... classy dancing. I got a triple shot of 151 because i was freezing and needed to warm up fast. Went back to Mae's finally got in and I bought a CD from Dan the lead singer. Hung out there till close then ventured off to the COK party which I must say has been over crowded with far to many people I don't know lately.

Oh well. While Cherry proceeded to bat beer pong ball out of the air I talked with my friend Kaleen and Maddy. Two girls I kinda fancy. I don't know a lot about Maddy but she's got an amazing sense of style and is as cute as a button. Kaleen I know quite a lot about and we sync up in our weird tastes in culture and music. Still who knows there. So i haven't really been on the prowl for love lately, or even looking. I'm kind of hoping it will just fall in my lap. Still it doesn't stop me from taking notice of a girls beauty. So after we left i shot Kaleen a text saying Maddy looked pretty cute tonight. The next day she tells me I'm not allowed to hit on her friends.

Ok that bugs me... Mostly because what the fuck does that even mean. Why would I not be allowed to hit on her friends. To me it's vague and without prompt. keep in mind I hadn't hit on Maddy. I simply told Kaleen she was cute. So does this mean Kaleen has a thing for me and would rather i not pursue another girl, especially one of her friends. Does it mean she sees me as a horrible boyfriend and would rather her friends not get involved. Maybe something completely different. I really don't know. I do know I really hate being told what to do by people. You want the right to tell me what to do in my life be a bigger part of my life and I'll afford you that right. Do I think anything will come of my flirtations with Maddy. I doubt it I'm a little old for her but age rarely matters with girls. i say rarely because the last girl I went after actually apparently was very jaded by that number. I guess with friends like that who needs enemies. lol. Still I generally adhere to a very strict code as far as the work place is concerned. Don't date Co-workers. Why because if it all goes to Hell you are forced to work with them before one of you gets sick or you both let it go. Either way usually ends up messy. Alright that little rants over.

In great news it's V- day. Cherry and I's 5 year Anniversary. 5 years ago we met at an Anti- V-day party and we fell in love, then we fell outa love, then we reconnected and formed a very strong lasting friendship. I just recently attended her wedding which was awesome. I really love the man she choose to marry he's an awesome guy and I'm sad I don't get to spend more time getting to know him. Still on a somber note this is just another in the line of X's I have had who immediately get married to the next serious relationship they have. Leaving me to wonder if I am actually cursed. If so Ladies if you wanna find Mr. Right just date me for a while and you'll be married to the next fella you fall in love with. I can damn near promise this based on years of research. I digress I am very happy for the both of them and I'm Happier still that I'm still part of her life. She means a lot to me. Well that's certainly enough from me till next time folks.

Moon Halo!

Ok my astral sign of good luck is a moon halo. Anyone know what that is? When the moons light hits the clouds and creates this massive halo around the moon right. Well tonight I saw a massive one with a line from a plane going through it. Mars was even inside it to show it's support. Needless to say altogether it was the most beautiful moon halo I have ever seen. I thus assume that because I believe these to be a sign of good luck for me that something amazing is about to happen to me. I don't know what but seeing that at the start of a New Year in the sky just blows me away. I can't wait 2012 is going to be life changing i just know it. Maybe I'll find true love, Maybe I'll be propelled forward with my art or writing. I can't say for sure but I know whatever it is it will be amazing. God I love my life. Currently, i have an animation i worked on processing and soon to be released, working on some hush hush thing for TNTML, writing as always, Lots of art here and there, and still looking for that one girl to bring this crazy life of mine full circle. I want more so much more life is giving and I'm taking. I appreciate it all so much.

In closing

Well it's been another year gone by... looking back I can safely say it's been both a good and a bad year. I have chased and lost. I have worked and achieved. As far as advancing my life I have done that to perfection. I have pushed myself both in my regular job and in my art. I have made new connections that will hopefully garner new and exciting developments. I have made new friends and lost some to the pendulum of time. I have both failed to stop smoking and lost the weight I so desparetly wanted to drop.

Artistically, I am working for Misti Dawn (side note my art starts all of her homebrewed porns :))for the site The Naughty Nerd. Soon you'll be able to buy my prints in their shop there. I have continued to write for TNTML, picked up a new writing gig for The Hype, worked on my poetry, and even attempted stand up comedy which I have been told is actually pretty good. Still won't know till i get in front of a real audience.

Another one of my brothers got married this year. Beautiful service. Illustrated just how badly I am doing at finding my own love in this world. Doing my best to find it I just think I'm a little much for any girl. Facebook is probably a killer for any blossoming relationship as I tend to have way to many crazy photo's there and my gallery of gorgious girls hanging off me most likely makes people assume I'm some kind of poon hound. This could not be further from the truth. In the last year I had sex with 1 girl. The year before that... 1 girl. In fact I am averaging 1 girl a year and that's gotta be some kind of sad record. It's not that my intention with any new relationship is to get laid but it seems to be how guys base how well you do in any way. I just can't invest myself sexually with someone unless i connect on a mental level and while i have found girls that i do connect with finding ones that aren't damaged and distant that still match that qualification are few and far between. Maybe i have way to high of standards, maybe I just think things through to much and when it comes to passion can't act in the moment. I'm sure I've had far more chances to hook up than i want to admit to. Just can't seem to do the casual sex thing.

Love will be something to work on in the new year. So here we go... New Years resolutions. Lose another 50 lbs. This one will be a lot harder after the initial major weight loss but I'm going to be joining a weight loss competition. That should help ;). Get back into a habit of going to the gym every night. Knock out way more art and push myself to be even better. Lastly, Stop smoking. Yeah this was one last year and I achieved it twice and then failed twice. So I think i can nail this one this year. Just gotta remember not to snack so much when i do it. Also I'll need to remember to take breaks to just go outside and stand and think. That's the most addicting thing about smoking I've found the quite moments of contemplation I get for myself. So there you go folks here's to the New Year i do hope this one was good for you all.

It's the most wonderful time of the year

So things in my life are fantastic in all but love. Had easily one of the most epic Birthday parties ever. Where we all dressed up like Demons and Angels. I was half and half. I looked scary as all hell. Couldn't move around a whole lot for the first few hours of the party. Not till after I took off my 50lb wings. Side note that same outfit got used at a strip club later for an event they were having, Which I was the only guy who dressed up. Le sigh. Topeka just doesn't take themes as serious as Manhattan does I guess.

Swing forward a bit I got to spend quite a bit of time with my family this Thanksgiving which rocked. I tell you what my family is core in my life. I love them and they are amazing. My brothers and I played Munchkin and some other games. All together amazing Thanksgiving I wish i got to see all of them more. We are very lucky two of my brothers wives live in the same area as my parents.

Swing forward to This last weekend starting with my dear friend Kate. After coming off a late night drinking fest with my friend Mr Kim. I took off for Club Orleans again to celebrate my friend Kate's B-day party. She works there so we had a ball that night. Mostly at the club I kept her BF entertained and drew like I always do at strip clubs. It was Christmas themed that night so many of the girls were dressed up as santa's hot ass helpers. Afterwards we all went out for IHOP. Damn near got kicked out. What can you expect from exotic dancers and people like me lol. Got back home at 5 in the morning where I maybe got 2 hours of sleep before heading into work which turned out to be quite hellish. Graduation day in Manhattan, KS. Running on two hours of sleep and just off a 9 hr shift already 20 hours into over time I stay awake and move into pirate gear because the Jolly Rogers, KC Renn Fest talent are playing my bar for Sully's birthday. Easily, one of the best shows I've ever seen there. Can't decide which I like better, them or White Ghost Shivers. Dear readers look these two up and love their music. In any case I got supper drunk and so did Sully. I apparently, got her husband because i got worried about her and they got her home safely. So tonight I took it easy even though all the drinks were only a dollar. Still so much good food at Mae's. This girl Tori OMG makes the best food ever.

So that's that life is epic. Love however not so much I feel like I never pick girls that will be an easy task. I will say this for all the girls I go after and turn me down. Telling me I'm the most amazing guy and that I'll make some girl just not them a perfect match is absolutely fucking crazy. Don't tell a guy he's awesome but you don't want him. Because if he is awesome you would want him. It's not a nice thing to say when you break up or deny someone. Just say sorry we don't mesh or you and I aren't going to work. Compliments are awful it's a double edged sword. Much like telling someone something like, "you look great to bad you smell awful." See that and what I talked about above. Same damn thing. So knock it off. Maybe this new girl will work maybe not. I'm not holding my breath any more and I'm sure as shit not chasing anyone like I did Laura. That's for damn sure. My heart all the way in part is dead. You want all of my heart you are going to need to give me a reason to shock it back into life. Oh well it's late I got a big week coming up so I'll see you cats later.

Woah! Been a while...

So if any of you actually read this you may recall I had been after that girl in the picture in the post below. That's over, done, finished. I am in no way pursuing her anymore nor is there any reserved hope to be with her. I am done and I finally got a solid, "NO" from her. Not in a bad way, screamy way, or a twist out my heart way. It was just a simple nope and I'm fine with that. I was free and I loved it. My friends were cautious, fearing my happiness was derived out of madness. I was content 10 years I had wondered what if? 10 years I had held on to this string in the back of my mind and I have finally let that string go. The weight it dropped was more than even I was aware. So am I sad it didn't go the way I wanted? Sure , but I've got my answer now so that doesn't even matter.

Obviously, having finally laid that beast of burden to rest I was back out to find a girl that actually wanted to be with me. Wasn't all wishy washy and the like. Seems I have a type and that type is un-available. Of course the next girl I go after would be completely disconnected from anything but a desire to be wanted and unable to find her own happiness. That can act as a black hole as anytime a person needs to feel acceptance above all else you can never give enough. Nor will they believe any sweet or encouraging words you have to offer. In the end I simply said I couldn't chase her and until she found her own happiness she would never be content with anyone she was with. It may have been harsh but ultimately I doubt she listened. We rarely listen to any advice given and don't find the merit in it until we come to that conclusion ourselves down the line. Only then can we look back at the advice given and realize we should have listened ages ago.

So prospects are ok got a really cute, super nerdy in an amazing way girl that I dig on, I think she likes me a bit to but who knows. All I know is she knows I like her so no friend zone. That is unless she would rather not take things anywhere. I hope so though we click so far. Good dialogue and pretty open about any topic. It's rare to find that type of honesty about all parts of life. Two non- liers. Truth all the way.

In art news I've started working with Satine's Brother or at least working on something for him. See if I can't create something he can use. Also still working with Misti hence the picture up top. I can't wait to see where I go art wise so far it's pretty exciting :).