It's the most wonderful time of the year

So things in my life are fantastic in all but love. Had easily one of the most epic Birthday parties ever. Where we all dressed up like Demons and Angels. I was half and half. I looked scary as all hell. Couldn't move around a whole lot for the first few hours of the party. Not till after I took off my 50lb wings. Side note that same outfit got used at a strip club later for an event they were having, Which I was the only guy who dressed up. Le sigh. Topeka just doesn't take themes as serious as Manhattan does I guess.

Swing forward a bit I got to spend quite a bit of time with my family this Thanksgiving which rocked. I tell you what my family is core in my life. I love them and they are amazing. My brothers and I played Munchkin and some other games. All together amazing Thanksgiving I wish i got to see all of them more. We are very lucky two of my brothers wives live in the same area as my parents.

Swing forward to This last weekend starting with my dear friend Kate. After coming off a late night drinking fest with my friend Mr Kim. I took off for Club Orleans again to celebrate my friend Kate's B-day party. She works there so we had a ball that night. Mostly at the club I kept her BF entertained and drew like I always do at strip clubs. It was Christmas themed that night so many of the girls were dressed up as santa's hot ass helpers. Afterwards we all went out for IHOP. Damn near got kicked out. What can you expect from exotic dancers and people like me lol. Got back home at 5 in the morning where I maybe got 2 hours of sleep before heading into work which turned out to be quite hellish. Graduation day in Manhattan, KS. Running on two hours of sleep and just off a 9 hr shift already 20 hours into over time I stay awake and move into pirate gear because the Jolly Rogers, KC Renn Fest talent are playing my bar for Sully's birthday. Easily, one of the best shows I've ever seen there. Can't decide which I like better, them or White Ghost Shivers. Dear readers look these two up and love their music. In any case I got supper drunk and so did Sully. I apparently, got her husband because i got worried about her and they got her home safely. So tonight I took it easy even though all the drinks were only a dollar. Still so much good food at Mae's. This girl Tori OMG makes the best food ever.

So that's that life is epic. Love however not so much I feel like I never pick girls that will be an easy task. I will say this for all the girls I go after and turn me down. Telling me I'm the most amazing guy and that I'll make some girl just not them a perfect match is absolutely fucking crazy. Don't tell a guy he's awesome but you don't want him. Because if he is awesome you would want him. It's not a nice thing to say when you break up or deny someone. Just say sorry we don't mesh or you and I aren't going to work. Compliments are awful it's a double edged sword. Much like telling someone something like, "you look great to bad you smell awful." See that and what I talked about above. Same damn thing. So knock it off. Maybe this new girl will work maybe not. I'm not holding my breath any more and I'm sure as shit not chasing anyone like I did Laura. That's for damn sure. My heart all the way in part is dead. You want all of my heart you are going to need to give me a reason to shock it back into life. Oh well it's late I got a big week coming up so I'll see you cats later.

Woah! Been a while...

So if any of you actually read this you may recall I had been after that girl in the picture in the post below. That's over, done, finished. I am in no way pursuing her anymore nor is there any reserved hope to be with her. I am done and I finally got a solid, "NO" from her. Not in a bad way, screamy way, or a twist out my heart way. It was just a simple nope and I'm fine with that. I was free and I loved it. My friends were cautious, fearing my happiness was derived out of madness. I was content 10 years I had wondered what if? 10 years I had held on to this string in the back of my mind and I have finally let that string go. The weight it dropped was more than even I was aware. So am I sad it didn't go the way I wanted? Sure , but I've got my answer now so that doesn't even matter.

Obviously, having finally laid that beast of burden to rest I was back out to find a girl that actually wanted to be with me. Wasn't all wishy washy and the like. Seems I have a type and that type is un-available. Of course the next girl I go after would be completely disconnected from anything but a desire to be wanted and unable to find her own happiness. That can act as a black hole as anytime a person needs to feel acceptance above all else you can never give enough. Nor will they believe any sweet or encouraging words you have to offer. In the end I simply said I couldn't chase her and until she found her own happiness she would never be content with anyone she was with. It may have been harsh but ultimately I doubt she listened. We rarely listen to any advice given and don't find the merit in it until we come to that conclusion ourselves down the line. Only then can we look back at the advice given and realize we should have listened ages ago.

So prospects are ok got a really cute, super nerdy in an amazing way girl that I dig on, I think she likes me a bit to but who knows. All I know is she knows I like her so no friend zone. That is unless she would rather not take things anywhere. I hope so though we click so far. Good dialogue and pretty open about any topic. It's rare to find that type of honesty about all parts of life. Two non- liers. Truth all the way.

In art news I've started working with Satine's Brother or at least working on something for him. See if I can't create something he can use. Also still working with Misti hence the picture up top. I can't wait to see where I go art wise so far it's pretty exciting :).