No ready for me yet?

Is it right to complain about nothing going wrong? Well it may not be but but nothing is moving forward either. I feel like I'm stuck in limbo and I may drop hints here and there that aren't returned in turn but are artfully passed over. Sidestepped in someway. I personally think she's ok with just being single for a bit, but while she's doing that I'm still stuck on the line. Because I am not missing a second chance by seeking out a new love and then when she is ready I'll be taken and we will start this waiting dance all over again. So tonight I'll find out if I can go see her on Friday. I'll see if she'll accept my advance to advance slowly. We talk more often on the phone and text and I know something is there. I know something is growing its just putting that to the test. i don't see myself up against 7 suitors so I'm ok with waiting a bit. I'm ok for taking the time to find her heart and climb the walls she's put up. I'm in for the long road but I'd like to know that road leads to her heart. That I'm not walking forward for nothing. She says she can't promise me anything yet but then says things like I don't know if I'm ready for you yet. Yet implies she wants to be ready for me in the future. To see us together then. I really think she's tired of all the chases and douchbags that aren't going to give her anything more than a sexual fix. Lord knows I'm ready for something real in my life something tangible. Something i can hang on to, someone to kiss and feel them kiss me back. To hold and know that we are together. I guess we will see this week. It's fair to ask because after the last time I don't think I deserve to be left on the line. I am playing by her rules and that's the only way to win her heart.

Speak and I will listen

Albert Schweitzer said, “In everyone's life, at some time, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being. We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit.”

I have had many experiences in my life and I rarely regret any of them. The ones I do regret involve hate. I hated my old preacher for many years for the things he did to my family and only recently forgave him and allowed myself to let that hate go. It was so relieving I cried on the spot. Hates a heavy thing to carry around with you and something I won't let myself deal with from now on.

Anyway recently this within this year anyway I have had the pleasure of working with a guy named Andre He was pretty shy at work at first really didn't open up to anyone and for some reason he choose me when I asked about his tattoos sense I knew a bit about the meaning behind them. Surprised that anyone else in this town would know anything about the Wicca Religion we started talking about our different beliefs and recently thanks to a lot of things I've been reading I have come into contact with an interesting shift in my own beliefs. Not the core things mind you but a realization that the powers that be may be very wide and of many different varieties. So you can never fully discount some one's beliefs because to believe in something anything can make it true. For example we as Christians ask others to believe in what we believe without a great deal of solid support albeit we find what we can to shift reason to our side. But in other belief settings there are powers that are equally unexplainable with completely different beliefs and gods behind them.

So today Andre gave me a rock ... one of those polished stones you know. I just kinda stared at it not really knowing what to say when he explained that it was his personal Anahata stone it was used for healing and to relieve stress in the body and soul. He wanted me to have it for my kindness to him. He also told me he had made me a dream pillow... much the same as a dream catcher with native American lore. I can imagine. Being a big fan of dreams and especially lucid dreaming I was eager to learn more about the dreaming realm. And if a pillow could ward off the dreams of evil looking to find safe harbor in my mind so be it. Now I don't know if what I felt was real or a projection through my body based on my brief belief in his belief system but I felt energy in the stone he gave me. Weird but make you wonder just what can come from true belief.

Christianity has through prayers cured incurable and often terminal patients and what what I know about Wicca its done similar things. I don't know all I know is that my kindness has effected a man's life and his life in turn is affecting mine. Truly a benevolent heart and a kind gesture can grant you access to the depths of the human soul far faster than bribery or false promises. Trust, caring and faith remains a key to the human heart. may it lead me to great places and may I never regret my experiences.