When one belief could change everything

So me and cherry found ourselves at a bit of an impasse last night. While I have been raised to believe in marriage and see how it works in a positive light Cherry has never really fantasized about it like most girls would. Oddly enough this has become a matter that has stopped us both in our tracks for the "what if" scenario in the future. So she is very resolute in her standing as was I. After it was all said and down we both agreed that we would tap a step back and obviously if the talks in the relationship were already on marriage things were progressing much to fast especially for only 4 months. No matter how either of us felt about marriage. So in stepping back we also get to consider things more carefully. For one there was no way I was going to let our relationship for which I have had few complaints and seems to be going to well be derailed by something that could foreseeable happen later in the future. Sure we maybe able to save ourselves some grief but truly I love this girl and trust her. I love being with her, talking with her being with her. If I have to re-evaluate somethings in my life to make it work why not. Which after we made amends and I dropped her off after a very interesting encounter at the bars with a couple of archaeologists. I called my brother Stephan who was asleep of course lol. The poor boy rose and helped me with my situation or at least gave me some perspective. I tried my best to remember why I felt like marriage was the only way to go. I hate arguing points when I don't know why I believe them. I refused to share Christ with people until I knew why I believed in him and I found myself wondering why do I believe in marriage. It's just one of those things I have always accepted. Never even questioned it. I think I have many things to look into now to even understand if I believe in marriage at all. Considering how many marriages end badly may hap it would be very important to consider this in its entirety. Especially considering how close I came to being engaged to Chelsea and her turning out to have been cheating on me the whole time. I would certainly believe differently about marriage had it fallen apart so soon with her. But the main thing I realized later that night and until I realized it my stomach wouldn't stop feeling upset. In the whole of our conversation I kept asking if SHE would ever be open to the possibility of change. While saying I would the tonality in my voice disagreed with the words coming out. Really it was all about her changing to be with me. To her it would be a huge sacrifice... So when I realized what I was REALLY asking her I had to really ask myself that same thing. Calling my brother he explained that he was dealing with quite the opposite a girl that really wanted to get married while he was not ready yet. Not that I'm really ready to get married no where close. I would admit. And I don't want to add that sort of thing to the list of her worries especially with school starting. So here I am searching to find what I truly believe and if it's important enough to keep me from the one I love. Truly, I don't believe a single days actions should dictate the reality of our relationship... In the future we will see how our relationship progresses because if it only blossoms into a more amazing friendship then there is no way I'll let something like that stop the path of us. She's worth so much more than a ceremony.